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March 8th, 2010
Here at the A Family’s Heartbreak blog we direct most of our words to the parents, legal and mental health professionals who deal with the disruptive and unhealthy actions of the alienating parent. However today’s post is directed at alienating parents. You know who you are. You believe that you are acting in the children’s best interests when you involve them in your battles with the other parent.
The American Psychological Association (APA) reports in its latest Stress in America research that parents typically misjudge the amount of stress on their children. Twenty percent of children ages 8 to 17 reported that they worry a great deal, while only 3 percent of parents rated their children’s stress levels as extreme. Further, while only 13 percent of parents thought their children suffered from stress headaches, 36 percent of the kids reported stress headaches. Thirteen percent of parents thought their children have difficulty sleeping, while 45 percent of children reported trouble sleeping. While 18 percent of parents thought their children worry about the family’s financial situation, the kids reported that 30 percent of them are worried about the family finances.
Some alienating parents believe their children have the right to know what the other parent “is really like.” Other alienating parents believe that their children are “mature enough” to make decisions that force them to choose sides in their parents’ conflict. Adult conflicts are stressful enough for adults. Now the research shows that all parents underestimate the amount of stress children feel on a day-to-day basis. There is no good reason to further stress out your children by pulling them into conflicts that make them choose between Mom and Dad.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, American Psychological Association, Choosing between Mom and Dad, Parental Alienation, Stress, Stress in America Study
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March 2nd, 2010
The American Counseling Association (ACA) recently asked its members to provide feedback on a draft of the DSM-V– which the ACA will consolidate and forward to the DSM-V Task Force. As many of you know, the DSM is the mental health profession’s bible — the final authority on symptoms and syndromes and the definitive diagnosis on legitimate mental health conditions. The newest edition of the DSM will be released in 2013.
More than 60 international experts — academics, authors and mental health professionals — recently submitted a proposal to include parental alienation in the DSM-V. Many groups and individuals are working diligently to make the DSM Task Force aware of the huge number of parents and children currently struggling with the emotional heartbreak of parental alienation. It is also vitally important that all ACA members lobby their organization to include parental alienation in the next edition of the DSM.
Including any new diagnosis in the DSM is a long, complex, and some say, political, process. However including parental alienation in the DSM as an Adjustment Disorder should not be difficult. While special interest groups with their own agendas are fighting to keep parental alienation out of the DSM, mental health professionals see Adjustment Disorders related to depression and anxiety all the time. Why is it so hard to believe that a parent with unresolved emotional issues, going through the strain and emotional upheaval of a divorce or separation (the adjustment issue), could put his or her unhealthy emotional needs above the needs of his or her child? Further, why is it so hard to believe that these unhealthy needs might somehow damage, and in some cases destroy, the child’s relationship with the child’s other parent? And finally, why is it so hard to believe that the targeted parent might actually object to these events and turn to mental health professionals to help address an issue that has its roots in mental and emotional health?
The deadline for ACA members to provide feedback is March 22, 2010. The member’s ACA ID number is required with the submission. ID numbers can be found on the back of the Journal of Counseling and Development, or on the ACA website after logging in or contacting member services. To contribute, go to http://www.counseling.org/dsm/comments.html.
Tags: Advocacy, American Counseling Association, DSM, Parental Alienation
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February 10th, 2010
It is hard to believe that when you go to Amazon.com and type A Family’s Heartbreak into the search field, the entry that comes up for sale after A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation is The Partridge Family: The Complete 4th Season. I mean, what kind of connection exists between a parental alienation book and a lip-synching family that traveled around in a psychedelic bus?
Does Amazon know something we don’t know? Is the unknown connection the thought-to-be-deceased Mr. Partridge? We were told that Shirley Jones was a widow. But did she just say she was a widow and in reality alienate Keith, Danny and Lori from their Dad? Think about it — the kids never talked about Dad, or wished that he could attend one of their concerts. Mrs. Partridge and Reuben didn’t do anything to keep Dad’s memory alive either. All very suspicious if you ask me.
Perhaps it will take a VH1 Partridge Family Behind the Music to know for sure. Until then, you can get the truth about parental alienation from other sources. One source is the U.K.’s Natasha Phillips on Researching Reform, a program highlighting developments in England’s legal system. Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, recently discussed marriage, the legal system, and parental alienation on Researching Reform. The complete interview is at link below.
Podcast
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, Amazon.com, Media Appearances, Parental Alienation, Podcast, Purchase book, The Partridge Family
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December 31st, 2009
Mike Jeffries, Author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, is starting the new year with guest appearances on two separate radio programs.
On January 6 at 9:00 a.m. EST (6:00 a.m. Pacific) Jeffries will be the very first guest on the ”Let’s Talk Family” radio program hosted by Steve Ashley. The “Let’s Talk Family” program airs locally on KSQQ 96.1 FM in San Jose, California and is streamed live on the internet. Jeffries will discuss his experience with parental alienation — a destructive family dynamic where one parent damages, and in some cases destroys, a child’s normal healthy relationship with the child’s other parent – and how his book, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, is helping families avoid what his family experienced.
On January 7 at 7:00 p.m. EST Jeffries will join Host Paulette MacDonald on the “The Single Parent Show” on CFAO 94.7 FM (www.cfao947.com), Alliston Ontario’s Best Variety station.
“The Single Parent Show” is an educational program covering a variety of topics involving parenting issues after separation and divorce. Jeffries will describe parental alienation and offer targeted parents tips on surviving this emotional devastating experience.
Both programs will be posted on the Resources page of www.afamilysheartbreak.com after their broadcasts.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, Media, Media Appearances, Parental Alienation
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December 18th, 2009
With the year rapidly coming to a close, we’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation in 2009. Whether you bought the book, helped publicize the book, or just sent us a note congratulating us on the book — thank you! We’ve had quite a year. I think the best part of this remarkable experience has been the people, both the professionals and lay people, we’ve met from around the globe who are working to help parents and children avoid parental alienation. These dedicated, caring individuals have honored us with the opportunity to work with them on our shared goals and I’m confident that together we can make a difference.
Finally, we’d like to leave you with a gift from a reader. Michael Byrnes, an alienated parent, wrote the following poem to his children. Michael’s words capture what many alienated parents feel about their situations.
So Long for Now
by Michael Byrnes
So long for now my daughter
So long for now my son
When we’re older
We will meet again
I hope you’ll understand
It wasn’t what I wanted
I feel life was wasted
Not having been there
Not having shared
Please understand
It wasn’t what I wanted
Sometimes life goes wrong
There’s no one to blame
Oh but a waste
Time has become
Without you here
It wasn’t what I wanted
So when we meet again
Hopefully we will see
See eye to eye
And understand
Life goes wrong
And it wasn’t what I wanted
Happy holidays from A Family’s Heartbreak and best wishes for a peaceful, happy and healthy 2009.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, coping
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December 16th, 2009
Join Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, on the Parental Alienation Hurts/Get Your Justice Live program Thursday, December 17 at 8:00 p.m. EST.
To call in and talk to Mike dial 724-898-1660. To participate via the computer and interact with other participants on the Parental Alienation Hurts/Get Your Justice Live chat board visit http://budurl.com/liveshowtimechat.
As an alienated parent Jeffries understands how difficult the holidays can be for non-custodial parents who will not see their children this year. Join Mike, host Chrissy Chrzanowski and other audience members for tips on not only surviving the holidays but enjoying them.
A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation is the true story of one parent’s struggle to maintain a normal, loving relationship with his young son in the face of overwhelming odds. From the emotionally devastating actions of the child’s other parent, to a court system and mental health community ill-equipped to deal with a destructive family dynamic, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation is both an education in parental alienation and an eye opening experience for parents who don’t believe this could happen to them.
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November 14th, 2009
A large group of mental health professionals, legal professionals, and other individuals have submitted a formal proposal to have the concept of parental alienation included in the next editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) and the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). The proposal was submitted in November 2009. The authors of the 2009 proposal, who are listed below, represent eleven countries.
Please write to the following individuals and encourage them to include parental alienation in DSM-V:
David J. Kupfer, M.D. Dr. Kupfer is chair of the DSM-V Task Force. His address is: Western Psychiatric Institute, 3811 O’Hara Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15213.
Darrel A. Regier, M.D. Dr. Regier is vice-chair of the DSM-V Task Force. His address is: American Psychiatric Association, 1000 Wilson Blvd., Suite 1825, Arlington, VA 22209-3901.
Daniel S. Pine, M.D. D. Dr. Pine is chair of the DSM-V Disorders in Childhood and Adolescence Work Group. His address is: NIMH, 15K North Drive, MSC 2670, Bethesda, MD 20892-2670.
Principal author of Parental Alienation, DSM-V, and ICD-11 are: William Bernet, M.D. Contributing authors: José M. Aguilar, Ph.D. (Spain), Katherine Andre, Ph.D., Mila Arch Marin, Ph.D. (Spain), Eduard Bakalář, C.Sc. (Czech Republic), Amy J. L. Baker, Ph.D., Paul Bensussan, M.D. (France), Alice C. Bernet, M.S.N., Kristin Bernet, M.L.I.S., Barry S. Bien, L.L.B., Wilfrid von Boch-Galhau, M.D. (Germany), J. Michael Bone, Ph.D., Barry Bricklin, Ph.D., Andrew J. Chambers, J.D., Arantxa Coca Vila (Spain), Gagan Dhaliwal, M.D., Benoit van Dieren, Ph.D. (Belgium), Christian T. Dum, Ph.D. (Germany), John E. Dunne, M.D., Robert A. Evans, Ph.D., Robert Bruce Fane, Ed.D., Bradley W. Freeman, M.D., Prof. Guglielmo Gulotta (Italy), Anja Hannuniemi, LL.Lic. (Finland), Lena Hellblom Sjögren, Ph.D. (Sweden), Larry Hellmann, J.D., Steve Herman, Ph.D., Adolfo Jarne Esparcia, Ph.D. (Spain), Allan M. Josephson, M.D., Joseph Kenan, M.D., Ursula Kodjoe, M.A. (Germany), Douglas A. Kramer, M.D., M.S., Ken Lewis, Ph.D., Moira Liberatore, Psy.D. (Italy), Demosthenes Lorandos, Ph.D., J.D., Ludwig F. Lowenstein, Ph.D. (United Kingdom), Domènec Luengo Ballester, Ph.D. (Spain), Jayne A. Major, Ph.D., Eric G. Mart, Ph.D., Kim Masters, M.D., David McMillan, Ph.D., John E. Meeks, M.D., Steven G. Miller, M.D., Martha J. Morelock, Ph.D., Stephen L. Morrison, Ph.D., Wade Myers, M.D., Olga Odinetz, Ph.D. (France), Jeff Opperman, S. Richard Sauber, Ph.D., Thomas E. Schacht, Psy.D., Jesse Shaver, Ph.D., M.D., Bela Sood, M.D., Richard K. Stephens, Julie Lounds Taylor, Ph.D., Asunción Tejedor Huerta, Ph.D. (Spain), Hubert Van Gijseghem, Ph.D. (Canada), James S. Walker, Ph.D., Randy Warren, J.D., Monty N. Weinstein, Psy.D., Katie Wilson, M.D., and Abe Worenklein, Ph.D. (Canada).
Tags: Parental Alienation
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October 31st, 2009
A Family’s Heartbreak, LLC. is pleased to announce that its book, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, is now available through all major and independent retail book stores.
Pathway Book Service is distributing the much sought-after book and made available it to stores on October 25. Any book store not yet carrying it can order A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation and the customer can expect delivery in approximately one week.
“This is huge for anyone experiencing parental alienation,” said Mike Jeffries, the book’s author. “We’ve heard from many alienated parents over the past few months who looked for our book in their local book stores and could not find it. When alienated parents and the professionals they turn to for help need information on parental alienation, they usually need it as quickly as possible. We’re thrilled to give them another way to obtain A Family’s Heartbreak and give them the resources they need to deal with this destructive family dynamic.”
A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation is also available through the book’s website at http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com and through Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Familys-Heartbreak-Introduction-Parental-Alienation/dp/0979696011/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257013251&sr=8-1.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, Mike Jeffries
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September 4th, 2009
Germany, Austria, the U.K…
No, we’re not about to launch into a remake “Dancing in the Streets.” From our perspective, David Bowie and Mick Jagger made the ultimate remake of the Martha Reeves & the Vandella’s song.
However we are pointing out that the reach of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation continues to expand. The book is helping people in countries around the world understand and cope with parental alienation. And for anyone who thinks parental alienation is purely a father’s issue, or a U.S./Canadian issue, we hope the latest professionals to review A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation from their respective countries and perspectives can help put those myths to rest.
Christian T. Dum, Ph.D., heads a non-profit organization (www.beideeltern.de) in Germany which deals with psychological and legal child custody questions. Dum says, “Mike Jeffries had never heard of parental alienation, but in his desire to understand what was happening he eventually found in Dr. Davies a professional who was very familiar with this phenomenon. Their latter cooperation as affected parent and psychological expert on authoring this book makes it truly exceptional, different from professional literature dissecting the problem from the view point of a neutral scientist, different from the usual self help book, and different from personal accounts of similar experiences.” You can see his complete review at http://www.beideeltern.de/jeffries.htm
Kimber Adams is a Mom living in Vienna, Austria and the author of A Parentectomy (http://www.theparentectomy.com/). In her book, Adams vividly illustrates the heartbreak, frustration and hopelessness that parents experience when their children are turned against them in order to fill the other parent’s unhealthy emotional needs. After she finished reading A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation Adams wrote, “All I can say is, ‘What a gift! WHAT A GIFT you have given targeted parents!!’ A Family’s Heartbreak is so appropriately titled. It is an excellent introduction to parental alienation – concise and all-encompassing. It’s a remarkable contribution to the information available on parental alienation.”
Natasha Phillips is a non-practicing barrister and founder of “Divorce Manual” in the U.K. Phillips works for pressure groups like Justice for Families – combining political and legal policy proposals with a goal of reforming the Family Justice System in the U.K. Phillips said, “The tragedy told in this book is underscored with wry humour and well placed heartfelt home truths that resonate throughout the book… Whether you find yourself laughing at the Banana Schedule or intrigued by the solutions Michael offers, A Family’s Heartbreak is a must read, with startling similarities between the U.K. and U.S. family law courts.” You can read Phillips’ complete review at Researching Reform.
And the beat goes on.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, Book Review, Parental Alienation, reviews
Posted in A Family's Heartbreak, Book Reviews, Parental Alienation | 1 Comment »
July 28th, 2009
A Family’s Heartbreak, LLC. announced today that DivorceMagazine.com, the internet’s leading divorce and resource site, is excerpting A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, on its site.
DivorceMagazine.com is featuring five segments highlighting author Mike Jeffries’ struggle to remain in his son’s life and come to grips with life as a severely alienated parent. The five-part series from the book is located at http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Parental-Alienation-Syndrome/ and the segments are entitled:
Part 1. It’s not as simple as “good guys” and “bad guys”
Part 2. Destruction time to be “totally out of control”
Part 3. There is no logic right now but “all is ok at this Time”
Part 4. Set the stage dial at “denial /disbelief stage”
Part 5. The verbal switch is on and “ it’s your father or your mother”
“We’re very pleased to have A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienationfeatured on DivorceMagazine.com,” says Jeffries. “Parental alienation exists in many families going through divorce and separation, even if no one in the family recognizes the behavior as non-productive and emotionally damaging. We hope introducing DivorceMagazine.com visitors to A Family’s Heartbreak will help parents and children avoid what my family went through.”
DivorceMagazine.com provides information and advice about divorce law, divorce lawyers, family law, children and divorce, and other divorce-related issues as well as information on divorce professionals such as family lawyers and online divorce.
Tags: A Family's Heartbreak, DivorceMagazine.com, Parental Alienation
Posted in A Family's Heartbreak, Parental Alienation | 1 Comment »
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